Hey
everyone, its been a while since our last post, so it's time for a
new post! Today's topic will be the ever prevalent and over-used
"separation anxiety" - why it doesn't exist, what it really
is, and how to address it!
It is no secret that the veterenarian/pet care industry and food and drug administration make the most money when patients are not healthy - they profit the most off of people and pets that keep coming back for more care under the premise of getting better. But, what happens when there is nothing wrong? What profit is there to make off of the healthy? There isn't, unless you are selling food, clothing, toilet paper, or vitamins, because everyone needs those things (or food, toys, treats, and leashes for dogs). Veterinarians make money mostly off of pet owners that need to fix a severe injury, illness, or spaying and neutering. In fact, that is the largest part of their income. Prescriptions, whether for pet or human have dire side effects, and don't always work - most of the time, they make you worse in other ways, and recent research suggests that they're not really working much at all, depending on what prescription you're taking. Why am I talking about this? Well, when a dog is healthy, doesn't need a drug or a vet visit, how are vets and the pet industry supposed to make a profit? They can't.
Let me make a side note here in mentioning that veterinarians are not trained at all in canine behaviour, psychology, or eating needs. They should never be consulted in regards to behaviour issues, or what brand of food to eat. Some vets have their own animals and may have reliable advice, but they are not trained in it – just as Ideal Companions is not trained in a dog's medical needs. Please do not take your vet's word on training or foods, as they are often offered a bonus from food companies to sell you their brand – most commonly is science diet, which is not healthy. Also, please don't come to a trainer with medical needs unadressed.
Now, in order to get healthy people to spend money on medically healthy dogs, the vets and pharmacies agreed to create a situation where drugs were necessary. How do you get pet owners to spend money on healthy dogs? Find a pesky behaviour, and assign an emotion to it that draws pity. Anxiety. Before this term came to be, dogs were treated as either people-oriented or afraid to be alone. It was something wrong with training, and their learned personalities from the mother dog. Once the vets started calling it Anxiety, people immediately wanted to know how to fix it – and thus is born an entirely new industry – dog emotion control. By labelling something training-learned with an emotion, thousands of dog owners did not have to take responsibility for their dog's behaviour and was able to medicate it.
So, if Separation Anxiety is not really an emotional problem, why is my dog breaking out of its crate, chewing up my house, destroying my garbage can, or defacating all over my home when I am gone?
Mommy complex (or daddy completx as the case may be). Call it what you wish, in every case, the cause is the same. Dogs need to know who is in control, and who is following. When the owner does not offer this clarity, the dog believes they are the one who is in control. Some dogs simply do not listen to every command given, some become aggressive, and some get mommy complex. If their human cannot offer the stability of control in their language, they take over. It is either one or the other; there is no such thing as mutual understandings, no time where it switches back and forth. When this need is not fulfilled, the dog takes over. When they get mommy complex, they begin to see their owners as their puppies, or their younger pack mates.
It is unnatural for a dog to be separate from his or her puppies, ever. They bond, they stay close, and they take on the world together. When a dog with mommy complex is left behind alone, they are suddenly without their puppies (the owners). They believe it is their job to protect the puppies no matter where they are (characterized by barking energetically at the door, not listening, or behaviours such as urinating in the home to mark terretory, scratching the ground after defacating, and fearful habits such as cowering, growling, and a resistance to commands). If they cannot get to their puppies, they are essentially caught in a loop. “My puppies are lost. I have to find my puppies. I need to protect my puppies. I can't see my puppies. I have to find my puppies. I need to protect my puppies....” When this happens, because they do not understand the human world, they must occupy their minds until their puppies come home. This is accomplished by nervous behaviours such as chewing things and destruction (to spend the extra energy), fearful behaviours such as howling and barking (to signal to the puppies to return), and dominant behaviours such as marking and defacating in the home (to increase the scent so the puppies can smell it and come back). It is essentially caused by a need to control you, and the inability to accomplish that goal.
This behaviour is actually encouraged quite quickly by otherwise innocent looking behaviours such as greeting your dog with excitement when they are bouncing and “happy” looking when you come home, feeding them when they bark at you, petting them or picking them up to calm them down, letting them free of their crate or rooms when they are still excited, or even putting them in the crate when they are excited, under exercised, or afraid to begin with. When you leave a dog in those states, they have no way of knowing what the human is doing – they only know that they have been left behind in an unstable state, which sends the message that they messed up so badly that they deserve to be removed from the pack (which will bring more instability and worsen the behaviour or turn it into aggression/frustration which is when the dog needs immediate intervention) or that their puppies have vanished on them and causes mommy complex.
How do I solve this problem? Do I have to take them everywhere with me? Leaving a dog alone isn't the problem – neither is leaving them in a crate. In fact, it is supposed to be a time of relaxation and waiting, not a source of obsession or punishment. Taking your dog everywhere won't solve the problem, because it is a training issue. It is essentially like putting a bandaid on a broken leg. You might not see it, but the issue is still there, and it will pop out in other ways and can often compound and get severe in other areas, and will cause your dog to stop trusting you – if this hasn't happened already because of mommy complex. In order to repair this damaged relationship, you need to go back to square one, and in some cases, dogs will need all new equipment in order to readjust the learned behaviours of the items you use now. You will need to re-teach what the crate means, what stay means, and that even though you vanish, you will come back. Absolute basics must be retaught – and if your dog just isn't listening, starts to shy away, yelps when you come close, or starts getting aggressive, contact us for immediate help – there is a chance your relationship with your dog may not recover.
Another side note, you should never leave a dog unattended for more than four hours – five at the absolute most, and puppies under 6 months no more than an hour or two - without coming to allow the dog to relieve itself and have time to see you. Any longer than four hours, and you run the risk of your dog messing in their crate, and losing trust in you. To a dog, four hours is a very long time. They may love the crate, they may enjoy the time alone, but it is inuhmane to leave a dog longer than that time, and often causes severe behaviour problems – as well as medical ones. If you are in a job where bringing your dog is a possibility, using a crate can help associate the crate with calm relaxation – like a bedroom! As a note, it is illegal in BC to leave a dog in a car unattended without shade and water. Even if they have both, the car cannot be in the sun. It is also legal to break a dog free of a car if the dog is in distress. Puppies that are teething also need to chew, and often will do so on your throw pillows or couch to satisfy the pain – don't mix this up with mommy complex.
If I can't bring my dog with me, and I can't safely leave them alone, what do I do? You must reassess the dog's needs. If it is impossible to retrain crating, and your dog is too mistrustful of you, consider rehoming your dog, or calling Ideal Companions to help you. Retraining a crate can be as simple as changing a behaviour, or changing it's location, or even something as simple as changing your own habits. If you are not in control, you need to become in control. When you are in control, your dog does not hide under the table. She does not bark at the door as if the person behind it is going to murder your whole family. She does not pull on the leash. She does not growl at people, or try and bite them. She does not bounce and vibrate when you come home. She does not protect her food or toys. She does not defacate in the home, or pee everywhere. She does not destroy things. The list is large. For everything the dog does, she needs to know whether you like or dislike it. Everything they see, do, or touch needs rules and boundaries, and most of all they need positive reinforcement. Do not tell your dog no, no, no no, no all day – teach them what is safe, and what is not – and you will have your Ideal Companion!
It is no secret that the veterenarian/pet care industry and food and drug administration make the most money when patients are not healthy - they profit the most off of people and pets that keep coming back for more care under the premise of getting better. But, what happens when there is nothing wrong? What profit is there to make off of the healthy? There isn't, unless you are selling food, clothing, toilet paper, or vitamins, because everyone needs those things (or food, toys, treats, and leashes for dogs). Veterinarians make money mostly off of pet owners that need to fix a severe injury, illness, or spaying and neutering. In fact, that is the largest part of their income. Prescriptions, whether for pet or human have dire side effects, and don't always work - most of the time, they make you worse in other ways, and recent research suggests that they're not really working much at all, depending on what prescription you're taking. Why am I talking about this? Well, when a dog is healthy, doesn't need a drug or a vet visit, how are vets and the pet industry supposed to make a profit? They can't.
Let me make a side note here in mentioning that veterinarians are not trained at all in canine behaviour, psychology, or eating needs. They should never be consulted in regards to behaviour issues, or what brand of food to eat. Some vets have their own animals and may have reliable advice, but they are not trained in it – just as Ideal Companions is not trained in a dog's medical needs. Please do not take your vet's word on training or foods, as they are often offered a bonus from food companies to sell you their brand – most commonly is science diet, which is not healthy. Also, please don't come to a trainer with medical needs unadressed.
Now, in order to get healthy people to spend money on medically healthy dogs, the vets and pharmacies agreed to create a situation where drugs were necessary. How do you get pet owners to spend money on healthy dogs? Find a pesky behaviour, and assign an emotion to it that draws pity. Anxiety. Before this term came to be, dogs were treated as either people-oriented or afraid to be alone. It was something wrong with training, and their learned personalities from the mother dog. Once the vets started calling it Anxiety, people immediately wanted to know how to fix it – and thus is born an entirely new industry – dog emotion control. By labelling something training-learned with an emotion, thousands of dog owners did not have to take responsibility for their dog's behaviour and was able to medicate it.
So, if Separation Anxiety is not really an emotional problem, why is my dog breaking out of its crate, chewing up my house, destroying my garbage can, or defacating all over my home when I am gone?
Mommy complex (or daddy completx as the case may be). Call it what you wish, in every case, the cause is the same. Dogs need to know who is in control, and who is following. When the owner does not offer this clarity, the dog believes they are the one who is in control. Some dogs simply do not listen to every command given, some become aggressive, and some get mommy complex. If their human cannot offer the stability of control in their language, they take over. It is either one or the other; there is no such thing as mutual understandings, no time where it switches back and forth. When this need is not fulfilled, the dog takes over. When they get mommy complex, they begin to see their owners as their puppies, or their younger pack mates.
It is unnatural for a dog to be separate from his or her puppies, ever. They bond, they stay close, and they take on the world together. When a dog with mommy complex is left behind alone, they are suddenly without their puppies (the owners). They believe it is their job to protect the puppies no matter where they are (characterized by barking energetically at the door, not listening, or behaviours such as urinating in the home to mark terretory, scratching the ground after defacating, and fearful habits such as cowering, growling, and a resistance to commands). If they cannot get to their puppies, they are essentially caught in a loop. “My puppies are lost. I have to find my puppies. I need to protect my puppies. I can't see my puppies. I have to find my puppies. I need to protect my puppies....” When this happens, because they do not understand the human world, they must occupy their minds until their puppies come home. This is accomplished by nervous behaviours such as chewing things and destruction (to spend the extra energy), fearful behaviours such as howling and barking (to signal to the puppies to return), and dominant behaviours such as marking and defacating in the home (to increase the scent so the puppies can smell it and come back). It is essentially caused by a need to control you, and the inability to accomplish that goal.
This behaviour is actually encouraged quite quickly by otherwise innocent looking behaviours such as greeting your dog with excitement when they are bouncing and “happy” looking when you come home, feeding them when they bark at you, petting them or picking them up to calm them down, letting them free of their crate or rooms when they are still excited, or even putting them in the crate when they are excited, under exercised, or afraid to begin with. When you leave a dog in those states, they have no way of knowing what the human is doing – they only know that they have been left behind in an unstable state, which sends the message that they messed up so badly that they deserve to be removed from the pack (which will bring more instability and worsen the behaviour or turn it into aggression/frustration which is when the dog needs immediate intervention) or that their puppies have vanished on them and causes mommy complex.
How do I solve this problem? Do I have to take them everywhere with me? Leaving a dog alone isn't the problem – neither is leaving them in a crate. In fact, it is supposed to be a time of relaxation and waiting, not a source of obsession or punishment. Taking your dog everywhere won't solve the problem, because it is a training issue. It is essentially like putting a bandaid on a broken leg. You might not see it, but the issue is still there, and it will pop out in other ways and can often compound and get severe in other areas, and will cause your dog to stop trusting you – if this hasn't happened already because of mommy complex. In order to repair this damaged relationship, you need to go back to square one, and in some cases, dogs will need all new equipment in order to readjust the learned behaviours of the items you use now. You will need to re-teach what the crate means, what stay means, and that even though you vanish, you will come back. Absolute basics must be retaught – and if your dog just isn't listening, starts to shy away, yelps when you come close, or starts getting aggressive, contact us for immediate help – there is a chance your relationship with your dog may not recover.
Another side note, you should never leave a dog unattended for more than four hours – five at the absolute most, and puppies under 6 months no more than an hour or two - without coming to allow the dog to relieve itself and have time to see you. Any longer than four hours, and you run the risk of your dog messing in their crate, and losing trust in you. To a dog, four hours is a very long time. They may love the crate, they may enjoy the time alone, but it is inuhmane to leave a dog longer than that time, and often causes severe behaviour problems – as well as medical ones. If you are in a job where bringing your dog is a possibility, using a crate can help associate the crate with calm relaxation – like a bedroom! As a note, it is illegal in BC to leave a dog in a car unattended without shade and water. Even if they have both, the car cannot be in the sun. It is also legal to break a dog free of a car if the dog is in distress. Puppies that are teething also need to chew, and often will do so on your throw pillows or couch to satisfy the pain – don't mix this up with mommy complex.
If I can't bring my dog with me, and I can't safely leave them alone, what do I do? You must reassess the dog's needs. If it is impossible to retrain crating, and your dog is too mistrustful of you, consider rehoming your dog, or calling Ideal Companions to help you. Retraining a crate can be as simple as changing a behaviour, or changing it's location, or even something as simple as changing your own habits. If you are not in control, you need to become in control. When you are in control, your dog does not hide under the table. She does not bark at the door as if the person behind it is going to murder your whole family. She does not pull on the leash. She does not growl at people, or try and bite them. She does not bounce and vibrate when you come home. She does not protect her food or toys. She does not defacate in the home, or pee everywhere. She does not destroy things. The list is large. For everything the dog does, she needs to know whether you like or dislike it. Everything they see, do, or touch needs rules and boundaries, and most of all they need positive reinforcement. Do not tell your dog no, no, no no, no all day – teach them what is safe, and what is not – and you will have your Ideal Companion!
Sources
Prescriptions not helping/killing: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/10/26/prescription-drugs-number-one-cause-preventable-death-in-us.aspx
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10952/are-prescription-drugs-killing-you-and-your-kids.html
Illegal to leade dogs in cars:http://www.dogsafe.ca/blog/2011/8/Dogs_in_Hot_Cars_Understanding_Heat_Stroke_and_the_Law
http://www.spca.bc.ca/pet-care/health-safety/dogs-in-hot-cars.html
http://www.victoria.ca/assets/City~Hall/Bylaws/bylaw-11-044.pdf
^ This is the actual bylaw for Victoria.
Prescriptions not helping/killing: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/10/26/prescription-drugs-number-one-cause-preventable-death-in-us.aspx
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10952/are-prescription-drugs-killing-you-and-your-kids.html
Illegal to leade dogs in cars:http://www.dogsafe.ca/blog/2011/8/Dogs_in_Hot_Cars_Understanding_Heat_Stroke_and_the_Law
http://www.spca.bc.ca/pet-care/health-safety/dogs-in-hot-cars.html
http://www.victoria.ca/assets/City~Hall/Bylaws/bylaw-11-044.pdf
^ This is the actual bylaw for Victoria.
Other illegal things people do with dogs:http://www.vacs.ca/regulations/leash-regulations
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